Communication is EVERYTHING. Just as I sat down to write this article, I received a text from a client asking me how she should respond to a text from her friend. I asked my client a question, which lead her to the real issue and then she was on her way. I often spend a large portion of my week helping clients write and rewrite professional and private emails and texts because when emotions are involved, it's hard to see the forest through the trees. With a little bit of guidance, they form a deeper connection to Self and then are able to respond from a heart centered place that contains boundaries rather than their fearful egos.
It is magic and I love it.
Why is communication so difficult?
At the start of each horse assisted session, I give my clients time to spend with the horse to do whatever they want. They usually pet the horse to create a connection. After several minutes of the client petting the horse, I ask, "How's it going?”
"Great. I think the horse really likes me," they often respond.
"Yes, it's going well because you haven't asked anything of the horse, there's been no real communication. Relationship doesn't start until you ask the horse to do something. Then the horse will reveal itself.”
"Oh but I don't want to ask anything of the horse. I don't want to upset it," they often respond.
"Then you will never create a true honest connection with this horse.”
Horses are the best for learning the delicate art of communication because they are in the moment, giving direct feedback to how you are asking. They give you an opportunity to finesse your energy around the ask. Did the horse startle? Then you might have asked with too much fear based energy based on feeling ‘not being good enough,’ which made the horse want to move away from you. It's such a subtle and beautiful thing.
Asking for want you want can be done with a smile and grace.
Everyday I go out with Sadie, my horse, I'm given a lesson in this very thing. My education never ends and our relationship grows deeper and richer. I can see how every step I could destroy her confidence just by my thoughts about the relationship, our communication or her.
It is only when you are able to communicate your needs and wants that relationship begins. Relationship can only grow and become more intimate based on the value of the communication. When you express your needs from a Self aware place, how the person responds is just information but unfortunately, our egos give it so much meaning to our self worth and our value.
Communication is difficult because of FEAR.
I work with mostly wounded empaths (like me) so it's a lot of healing from being surrounded by narcissus who can't take in someone else's desire if it doesn't align with their own or their agenda.
There is no self-help book, weekend seminar, pod-cast, or magic pill that can guide you across your own deeply personal and intimate thresholds of fear. It takes your bravery and someone you trust to guide you and love you in all the messy glory of life.
If you ever need help, please reach out to me. I am affordable and do not suck people into expensive packages, etc.