when I am lost...
The mornings and the evenings are the strangest of times. Those brief moments when Cole is asleep or reading before sleep and I am alone. These are the moments I find myself lost, not knowing quite what to do. Life doesn't feel quite the same.
I have come to realize that even though my relationship with K was over, I had held on to the fantasy that one day we would have a Romantic Comedy ending. He would call or knock on my door, chase me down the isle on my wedding day to another man and profess his love to me. I was -delusional.
But I don't believe I was alone. I believe there were other fair maidens out there touched by K's magic like Orpheus and his music. They, too, believed that one day he would enter Hades to retrieve them but they were fooled by the magic of his music, there can only be one Eurydice.
In those moments when I am lost, I find myself staring at this painting of Orpheus leading Eurydice through the woods. The fair maidens across the water, mourning not being chosen and Eurydice being led unknowingly to what would end in her death -lost in him, in a trance. In all the photos of Orpheus and Eurydice there is no joy, only pain, suffering and longing...
I have come to realize that even though my relationship with K was over, I had held on to the fantasy that one day we would have a Romantic Comedy ending. He would call or knock on my door, chase me down the isle on my wedding day to another man and profess his love to me. I was -delusional.
But I don't believe I was alone. I believe there were other fair maidens out there touched by K's magic like Orpheus and his music. They, too, believed that one day he would enter Hades to retrieve them but they were fooled by the magic of his music, there can only be one Eurydice.
In those moments when I am lost, I find myself staring at this painting of Orpheus leading Eurydice through the woods. The fair maidens across the water, mourning not being chosen and Eurydice being led unknowingly to what would end in her death -lost in him, in a trance. In all the photos of Orpheus and Eurydice there is no joy, only pain, suffering and longing...
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